18/03/2021

'Mathematics saved my life,' says Brazilian woman at Stanford.

Imagem: Acervo Pessoal/ Reprodução UOL

“When I was a child, I wasn’t good at school, I hated studying and I thought I wasn’t intelligent.” This account, common to many students, comes from Alessandra Maranca, from São Paulo, now 18 years old. Besides facing academic difficulties, the young woman suffered bullying and experienced an episode of sexual violence at school, which ultimately triggered depression. It was in robotics classes, in the sixth grade of elementary school, that everything changed.

“To participate in robotics tournaments, I couldn’t fail any subjects, so I started studying much harder. That’s when I fell in love with mathematics and school,” Alessandra told Universa, from UOL . “Mathematics gave me the opportunity to see myself as capable, as a human being, to discover something I love to do. I think it saved me from the depression I went through in pre-adolescence.”

This state of persistent sadness began after Alessandra suffered an attempted rape. She was 11 years old and was the victim of an older student. Her awakening to mathematics and dedication to her studies saved her from the dark period that followed. "I feel that my high school education was much better than my elementary school education, because that's when I started to see a purpose in studying. All was not lost," she reveals.

In 2017, Alessandra won a gold medal in the Kangaroo Math Olympiad and, soon after, she applied to study law at USP (University of São Paulo), pressured by her parents. "I wanted to work in research, but they said I would starve." Even after being accepted into law school, she applied through the Sisu system to compete for a place at the Institute of Mathematics and Statistics, also at USP, and was accepted. The career as a lawyer, desired by her family, was definitively left behind.

Alessandra went ahead. She decided to study abroad. "It was something quite unassuming, because I didn't think I'd get in anywhere." To her surprise, she was accepted into Stanford University, one of the most prestigious in the world. She has been living in California since the beginning of the year.

The path, which hasn't been easy so far for the graduate, still has many challenges. One difficulty is dealing with being a minority in a male-dominated classroom. Strong, Alessandra leaves a message for girls who are pursuing STEM careers: "Today, I would say 'don't give up, don't doubt yourselves.' Guys will always show self-esteem, assert something confidently, even if they're not sure. It's important that we don't let our minds sabotage us."

Check out Alessandra Maranca's full account.

"I was the victim of an attempted rape and wanted to die; mathematics saved my life."

"I am 18 years old, and today I study mathematics at Stanford University in California (USA), where I am the only Latina among white or Asian men. At 11, I suffered an attempted rape at school, and this suffering left me paralyzed with sadness. I even sought medication to kill myself. I am a survivor, and mathematics has a lot to do with that."

When I was a child, I wasn't good at school, I hated studying and thought I wasn't intelligent. My sisters were always studious, and my parents said I was the creative daughter. In pre-adolescence, I went through a horrible phase, I suffered a lot of bullying, I had bulimia. I had just moved to São Paulo, I was far from my mother and I felt very depressed. In the sixth grade, I started taking robotics classes and that changed my life. I thought it was amazing. To participate in the tournaments, I couldn't fail any subjects, so I started studying much harder. That's when I fell in love with math and school.

' None of my friends believed me'

At that time, I was the victim of an attempted rape in the robotics lab by a student who was a little older than me. He was the programming lead for the robot we were working on. From one day to the next, I stopped going to school and to robotics practice. Everyone thought it was strange, and I had to tell my teacher. In the principal's office, they said the boy would be expelled, but a few years later I learned that, in fact, he was only asked to leave; nothing was recorded on his file. None of my friends believed me. That was very difficult. At that time, feminism wasn't so popular, and we didn't have the maturity to deal with that kind of situation.

What I felt went beyond sadness. The longing for my mother, who lived in another city, turned into something much stronger, which immobilized me. From one day to the next, I couldn't get out of bed anymore. I was 11 years old, and I even went to my grandmother's house to look for pills to kill myself. I desperately needed support, and I ended up asking for help from the adults around me. I sent emails to the school administration, who took care of me. I wasn't in therapy, so I ended up using the resources I had.

I feel that my high school education was much better than my elementary school education, because that's when I started to see a purpose in studying. It wasn't all lost.

Mathematics gave me the opportunity to see myself as capable, as a human being, to discover something I love to do. I think it saved me from the depression I went through in pre-adolescence.

I became fascinated by mathematical patterns for studying suicide. At age 13, I joined a sociology research project and decided, along with two friends, to study mental health and suicide among young people. It was a four-year project because we received a scientific initiation grant. The idea for the project arose from our own experiences, from trying to understand why, from such a young age, we had mental health problems, depression, bulimia, anorexia. This is not normal.

In the first year of research, we sought to understand more about the scientific method. We studied a lot of sociology, mental health, data collection, and social psychology to develop the questionnaires. There were more than 2,000 forms, all on paper, answered by students from public and private schools. Then I had to learn how to do analysis, because my team was counting on me to transform that data into something tangible, to obtain very clean data on how each factor impacts the mental health of young people.

I started studying programming and statistics on my own, and I fell in love with the idea of creating a mathematical model to study a phenomenon. I decided I wanted to study mathematics.

'I got into university in the US and went looking for a scholarship'

When the time came for the university entrance exam, my parents forced me to apply to the São Francisco Law School at the University of São Paulo. I wanted to work in research, but they said I would starve. I ended up getting into law school and, on the day the Fuvest (University of São Paulo entrance exam) results came out, I registered for Sisu (Unified Selection System) to compete for a place at IME (Institute of Mathematics and Statistics, also at USP). I was accepted, and I chose mathematics.

Soon after, I decided to apply to universities abroad. It was something quite unassuming, because I didn't think I'd get into any of them. In April, when I was already at USP (University of São Paulo), the results came out: I was accepted to Stanford University in California. But the scholarship wasn't enough. That's when I started researching like crazy. I had already secured the place, but I needed to find a way to finance my stay there.

At that moment, I discovered that applications were open for the Estudar Foundation's Leaders Program. But I only had one day to fill everything out. I passed all stages of the selection process and ended up falling in love with the program, which awarded me the scholarship and secured my trip to the United States.

I started the course at Stanford virtually in the second semester of last year, due to the pandemic, and this year I managed to enter the country after spending two weeks in Ecuador.

'In my course, the majority are white or Asian men'

In the school robotics team, I was the only girl, and I felt that my opinion wasn't respected. Even in groups with more women, I see that the programming part ended up being done by a man. The math teachers were always very kind to me. One of them even taught me calculus after school hours, and he was the first person who respected my decision to study mathematics.

At USP (University of São Paulo), it's very bizarre, because in undergraduate classes there are many girls, but in applied and pure mathematics, which is abstract, by demonstration, the shock is gigantic. In a room of 80 people, you look behind you and only see men.

I noticed that when one of them spoke, everyone listened; but when it was a woman, they looked at her with a 'poor thing' expression. I cried because I didn't understand a single symbol, but at the end of the semester, I got the highest grade in my calculus class. At Stanford, I feel that this inequality is a little worse than at USP (University of São Paulo). In mathematics, there are few women, and none of them are Latina, like me. The majority are white or Asian men.

They have a 'genius complex' because they were noticed very young, identified as prodigies, and placed in special schools always with other boys. I know very intelligent girls who have no self-esteem because of this. We don't see ourselves there. When I taught at the preparatory course for university entrance exams at FFLCH (Faculty of Philosophy, Letters and Human Sciences, USP), I had wonderful students, but they thought that mathematics wasn't for them because the 'geniuses' were all men. It was good to be able to make them not be so scared, to give the subject a chance.

Today, I would tell them not to give up, not to doubt themselves. Guys will always show self-esteem, affirm something with confidence, even if they're not sure. So, it's important that we don't let our minds sabotage us.”